Lazy Holiday

Posted by sarah2972

I had two weeks of holiday, and I pretty much wasted time until…today.
One bloody week has already gone by and somehow I do not hate myself for that. For the past 3 days I went to bed at about 3am and woke up really late. This feels kind of weird because combined with staying up, I have the house to myself (my flat owner’s family had gone for a holiday). I feel like I’m the only person in the world because I stay at home and when I am most active, other people are sleeping. This is something I often wanted when I had a crappy conflict with some people.
Once when I felt really depressed and was sick of hurting others and others hurting me I imagined a empty world except some animals who won’t kill me.

Sometimes when I’m about to sleep…the moment when everything is silent and I am forced to think, my past, and worries haunt me. So I like being preoccupied by TV, movies, books…anything to get my mind off myself.
I realise I am the biggest obstacle to my life.

Despite my low self esteem I am quite content right this moment. I have no reason to be unhappy. No one is telling me what to do, what not to do, or judging me.

Today I started a pastel drawing of children smiling and I am happy with the process. I am half way through pencil drawing. Drawing makes me feel proud because I can see the process I made. The sad thing is that random past regrets hit me when I am shading. I’m in the process of letting go or forgiving myself. I have not reached my destination and this might take several years. I don’t want my mind to rot as I get older, I want to mature.

I went to the library today and got out some books and met my classmate. She was a top student and asked me, “ah~ having fun with your history assignment?” I just let out a small embarrassed laughter and told her that I haven’t done any work this week( because I don’t want the genius teacher who sighs at my stupid essays to read my work.) I’m disappointed with myself, I hate being judged so much that I’m letting it get in the way of my education.

I got home ate two bowls of chocolate ice cream and watched a TV documentary about Laos.

Both my mom and my friend had ignored my messages, I’m such a loner 🙂
Right now I can do whatever I want but I feel slightly lonely.

my current room

Posted by sarah2972

I’m most content in my room.

A day spent with mom

Posted by sarah2972

scary crab soup

Posted by sarah2972

I won’t write the recipe down because my stomach felt quite uncomfortable after eating eat. None the less, this doesn’t mean that the dish was a failure. In fact the taste was quite good.

We had some crab left, and I found a perfect recipe on internet. The problem was I didn’t exactly follow the recipe when I realized that I didn’t have all the materials.

Here are some ‘changes’ that I made

I added lots of hot chili peppers, chili powder,spring onion and onion. After realizing the soup didn’t taste good enough I added a life saving ingredient. Left over instant noodle powder(the thing that you put in to enhance the flavours). Still something wasn’t quite right. I thought, “what the hell, I’m just going to add whatever seems right”. I added shrimp and pickled squid and parsley. In the end the dish tasted quite right. It was spicy and full of seafood flavours.

HOWever, my stomach seem to protest as a fire seem to be harbouring inside me. Maybe the cause for my discomfort is from something else, who knows. Anyhow, one of my family members gave it a try. She seems to be fine. I will give it another try later.

My evil? creation reminded me

Chicken and Egg fried rice

Posted by sarah2972

Mom brought some $5 baked chicken home. Some parts of the meat were quite dry and tasteless. The best part of the chicken for me was around the skin, where you can tastet the crispiness and favour. I was eventually left with dry bits and pieces.

It seemed like a waste so I made some fried fice with everything that was available to me. I searched first so I don’t come up with some weird combinations.

Here are the steps

1. Get out onion, spring onion,pepper and garlic

2. chop the garlic, opion and pepper into small pieces

3. throw them in a heated, oiled pan (medium heat)

I suddenly thought, I think I don’t have enough chicken, I should add an egg

4. Once they seem to be mid cooked, I added egg on side of the pan(low heat)

5. scramble the egg and mix it with the other vegetables (season with salt and pepper)

6. Add 1/2 tablespoon of oyster sauce or soy sauce. I also added 1/3 tbs of seasame oil to enhance the flavours.

9. Add cooked rice

8. At last, add chopped sping onion in a low heat. stirr them for a minute.

After: The fried was pleasant and savoury. It wasn’t a particuarly amazing dish but it was much better than eating the chicken with some salt. One day…after KFC or have some chicken left, you will always have an option. I’m sure there are someone who has a better idea. 🙂

mirror reflection sketch

Posted by sarah2972

The original concept was from a illustration from a Korean book.

I copied the outline.

Then I felt something was missing

So I coloured the hair and painted the reflection

I wanted to make it eerie, so I soaked the mirror and painted it with different colours.

Soon after, I wiped it with a tissue

Lastly, I dribbled black paint over it.

It would have been better if the black paint was darker 🙂

I realised that it’s difficult to see whether it’s he or she

I guess it’s a good thing?